you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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