Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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