You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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