Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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