Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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