hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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