we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
