Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize