the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
