i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
