Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
