Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
