She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
