Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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