Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
