i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
