i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
