Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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