What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
