in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
