Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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