I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
