Define "chronic" masturbator.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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