we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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