SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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