I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
