If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
