I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
