Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
