quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
