I'm really into asian looking animals
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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