Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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