I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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