hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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