Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
