I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
