i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
