It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
