You work out of a Hotel?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
