well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
