she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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