So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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