She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
