woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
