How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im having a threesome with these popsicles
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
