i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
