it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
