I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
