then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
