I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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