I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
