theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
