i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
