i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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