what day is it and did you see me today?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
