we have officially lost it.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
