Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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