mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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