I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I could fuck to npr.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
