Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize