Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
this hospital has no fireball
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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