I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
foreskin is a definite game changer
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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