There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
