I should be sponsored by Trojan
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
