You're a womanizer and a bitch.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize