if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
