Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
