Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize