if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
