All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize