I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
