similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
