Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
