went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
