i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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