I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
