C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
