I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i would punch a child for taco bell
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
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