I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Text me some of your sweat
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize