Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
